Wow..

It's been 4 months since I last wrote!

Well, let's see. The past 4 months as an official resident of New York have been truly unpredictable.

To summarize things:

-I worked at a terrible restaurant in the West Village as a hostess and hated it. (Minus my regulars...I loved them.)

-I work at the bar I usually hang out at called Characters as a waitress. I love it...even though the hours can be extremely tedious and exhausting.

-I auditioned for a book trailer and booked it! (No pun intended). That trailer is currently playing on Hulu and in movie theaters, and has gotten good press.

-I auditioned for the ArtsPower Tours, which is a non-equity children's theatre company that produces tours of children's musicals that tour nationally. More importantly...

I BOOKED A TOUR.

It will be my very first tour, and it's the biggest leg of the tour, which means I'll be traveling all over the country from January 24th to May 27th. I start rehearsals on the 3rd of January and I couldn't be more excited.

I play Cat in the production of "Are You My Mother".

Looks like 2012 will be exciting, nonetheless!


SIDE NOTE: I will be starting a travel blog of my journey once we hit the road. 

My First BITE of the Big Apple.

Well, I made it! And I've survived two weeks so far!

Here I am, sitting in a Mcdonald's on 52nd Street and 8th Ave, just catching up on life while I wait for the boy to get off work. These past couple of weeks have been pretty successful, I'd say.

On day 2 in the city, I got hired at two different restaurants and a part-time, well-paying weekend job, and signed a lease to a BEAUTIFUL apartment in Brooklyn. I've been told that's pretty crazy for someone who has only been in the city for 2 days. But I'll take it.

After a week, and training at both jobs, I quit one because it did not pay as well and I would not be able to give myself a day off if I worked there. So now I have one restaurant job and the part-time weekend job. Both pay extremely well and I love the people I work with.

NOW. Theatre-wise, it's been a little crazy.

I didn't submit myself for things right away because I thought perhaps having a bed first would be more beneficial. Now that I have a bed, I've been submitting myself, here and there.

So far:
-two film auditions, which I ended up not being able to do the film because of my work schedule and the very short notice on shooting dates.
-1 photo shoot for lipstick that happened today. Very very excited to see the final images. :)

Cheers to the city! It's been a ride so far. More to come later.

The Time is Now!

Well, here we are. I'm sitting in the airport, waiting to board my flight to NYC. It's a long story, but I missed my first flight, not of my own fault. Luckily for me, I got this one free of charge. I still have an hour or so before I board, and I can't help but feel so many emotions.

Moving has certainly elicited several emotions, some that I never thought I'd feel when this day came and some that I completely expected and embraced.

1. Fear.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing myself to a big city. Fear of leaving loved ones behind. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of dissatisfaction. Fear of failing. A lot of fear.

2. Bittersweet.

I hate this emotion. It is not a welcome friend in my book, and yet it shows up whenever it wants to, completely unexpected. I was not surprised to feel this way, but it still doesn't make the emotion easier to bear. It's that confusion of whether the tears you are crying are due to sadness or happiness. Or maybe somewhere in-between. Or maybe a mixture of both. Whatever it is, it's always a weird feeling.

3. Anxiety/Excitement

This one couples with fear, for the most part. Excited for the unknown, excited for the adventure. Excited for the people I'll meet, the experiences I'll have, the places I'll see, the adventures that I'll be able to call all my own. Anxiety for the time I've waited. The time that has passed ever so slowly, from months to weeks to days. To mere hours and minutes. The time is now. And my anxiety will probably hold on for a long while after I arrive, I expect.

4. Love

Realization of how important my family is to me. That's never been news to me, but as I grow with experiences, the relationship to my family has become closer and more important to me than ever. It's a new chapter in all of our lives. I'm the last one to graduate school. We're all entering a new chapter together, and I'm so glad that I have their support, especially in this industry. Love for all of the people who are supporting me, who are already in the city. I feel lucky to have this support system wherever I go.

Looks like I'm getting ready to board soon. Here we go....

Goodbye Missouri, Hello New York City.

14 days and a lot of crazy.

14 days until I make the big move. The big move to New York City.

It's very surreal at this point. 2 weeks ago, I was leaving my summer stock in Indiana, ready for home and relaxation. Now I'm caught in this in-between state of my home in Missouri and my soon-to-be home in a different state. I can't tell you how many times I've had to catch my breath, just thinking about it.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is not the last time I will be home. I'll always have the ability to travel home. Just not as easily... and certainly not as cheap.

To recap the summer:

I went to a summer stock in Bloomfield, Indiana.
I met wonderful, creative, inspiring people.
I learned several things about myself as an actress and truly connected myself to a piece in a different way.
I expanded my abilities as a thespian and can now add 'props designer' to my portfolio.
I discovered and set new goals for myself and gained a lot of self-confidence.

In the next two weeks, I need to:

-organize my audition book
-re-read my notes from 'Nuts and Bolts' (a class on the business side of theatre)
-have a few panic attacks
-subscribe to Backstage


And relax.

Let's see if I can do it all.


Oh, and I want to learn a new language. Is that too much to ask?

Hello from Indiana!

Well, I'm currently writing this from inside my cozy room here in Indiana, where I'm doing summer stock until August 1st. This is my second time with the summer stock experience, and I will tell you that it's certainly different from my first experience.

We opened our first show of the season, "Ring of Fire: The Johnny Cash Musical Show" last week and the first weekend ended up being quite successful. It's a great show for this town in particular considering the people who live here. They responded very well and hopefully the closing weekend will bring in some great crowds as well. Singing country isn't one of my strong suits, but I've definitely enjoyed developing those skills. Plus, it's Johnny Cash...what's there not to like, right?

Yesterday started the beginning of "The Fantasticks" rehearsals, the second show I'm in. I performed in this role last summer, and I'm very excited to reprise the role with a whole new take on it. We've already begun tablework and I can say with confidence that this show will challenge me mentally, physically, vocally, and emotionally. I can't be more excited. Even though I've done the role before, it's like stepping into the role for the very first time again. I've grown in several ways since I last did the show and I'm looking forward to exploring the character further. The theme of my journey through this show is: "Find the ugly."

I'm learning a lot about myself not only as an actor, but as a person here, which is unexpected. Welcomed, but unexpected.


Side note: I've found a real passion for props. I'm the props mistress for the season, which I didn't think would overwhelm me too much. I was wrong. But I'm grateful that I'm doing it, because I've discovered that I love the research, creativity and crafting involved. Just a thought. :)

Officially a college graduate.

It happened. Yesterday, in fact. I graduated college. I walked across the stage as one of my favorite professors read my aloud, with tears streaming down my face. I'm still not sure if those tears were of happiness or sorrow. Probably both. Bittersweet is definitely the word, and even that doesn't do the feelings justice.

Things I will always remember:

-going to the lake before STI, having conversations about Boji.
-going to the dance studio on sundays with no agenda but to just dance
-watching America's Next Top Model with all the girls in Hillcrest
-auditioning for Little Women, getting my first callback in college, and losing sleep over it
-my first sewing class with THE Patti Doyle
-the first time I met Dan. The amount of curse words in one minute was astounding.
-Brandy Bell. Just in general.
-The first week of STI. My body has never hurt so much, but I've never felt more inspired and challenged.
-Hearing my own work being read aloud by someone else for the first time.
-Fairy tale characters at STI.
-Magnetic girl monologue...that still doesn't quite make sense to me.
- Standing in a large circle with everyone in the dance studio, holding onto each other with tears streaming down our faces, as we all sang "I Know Where I Been".
-Realizing how much I really enjoy fencing/sword fighting in combat.
-Realizing how I need to continue to get into shape for this profession.
-My first show on the mainstage, "Ah, Wilderness" and my first show with Lamby.
-not understanding why strikes were so terrible until Boji. And then loving them after Boji.
-"Dear Gumby's, Stephens is drunk. Send pizza. Love, STI."
- getting my first taste of screen acting during my first senior film project, "Lost and Found"
-getting drunk for the first time at Stephens...
-Sexmas party.
-All of Emily's themed parties.
-BOJI.
-meeting people at Boji who means more to me than I can express.
-Working my first show at Boji with a cast comprised mainly of professionals.
-The last strike/truck load, sitting with my entire class and faculty on the empty stage at Boji. Realizing the fact that it's our time now. Sharing the love and the space with this wonderful group of women that have bonded so closely over the last 3 months.
-My first big musical lead that truly helped me to grow as an artist.
-Enjoying shop for once? (Kindergarten Wednesdays)
-The Boji Mile
-A true Boji storm....several of them.
-Truly bonding with some of the most amazing women I will ever meet over late night bonfires.
-Being artistically challenged and changed throughout the summer at Boji.
-spending my last year in college living with one of the craziest, coolest girls.
-the entire experience surrounding my senior recital
-"Paper Girl", perhaps one of my favorite film experiences in all of my time at Stephens.
-Nuts and Bolts...and realizing how scary, difficult, and exciting the real world will be.
-Stevies...and my final week at Stephens. Never have I cried so much in one week.


This list could go on for days, but I'll stop it here.
I love all of my Stephens ladies. Thanks for the last 3 years.

Big Apologies...and big changes.

Wow.

For anyone who reads this, I am so sorry. To say that it's been awhile is an understatement.

As the months, weeks, days draw closer to graduation, I become more and more busy. Hence the reason for the serious lack of updates.

Well, since I've last written I've had a lot of success! Let me just list off some positives...

-Got offered a summer job at Shawnee Summer Theatre of Greene County in Indiana. I'd be Luisa in The Fantasticks, and Woman #4 in Ring of Fire, as well as props mistress for the entire summer. And I'd get paid. (PS...I took it!)

-Auditioned for the Advanced Narrative Film "Paper Girl" and got cast as the title role. We shot it last month and I just viewed the footage this week - I'll try to post a link soon! It was a huge learning experience.

- Just finished filming a dogme short film project with one of the senior film majors and viewed the footage a few days ago. It was a really fun experience - I really enjoyed working in that style of film.

-Found a roommate for New York! One of my really great friends made the decision to move to NYC and we decided to make that trek together. I can't express how grateful and excited I am to have someone to go on this adventure with me.

-I finally had my senior recital. It turned out better than I could have ever expected and most importantly, I had a blast doing it. It reminded me how much I love performing...and really challenged me in ways I didn't expect. The footage to that will hopefully be posted soon.

...and lastly, graduation. 7 days. The end to my college career. In 7 days, I will be a college graduate. I'll be an adult. I can't possibly sum up the last three years of my life in a few sentences, so I will be writing another post closer to graduation. Don't expect it to be short and sweet.... :)

I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH.

Not to shout, but this past week, specifically this weekend, has been one big learning experience.

This weekend was the Midwest Theatre Auditions held at the Webster Conservatory campus. It's a combined audition consisting of several summer theaters looking to cast for their 2011 summer season. There were around 30 or so theaters present throughout the weekend. This was my first experience at a combined audition and I definitely learned a lot about myself as a performer and about the specific audition process that I experienced.

The Actual Audition:
- I paid attentive to the girl who sang before me, which one of my professors said was a good way to keep yourself present, alert, and focused. It also makes you seem like a pleasant person, which catches the eye of the auditors.

- I think I rushed my intro, when I should've just breathed, and slowed down a little bit. I stumbled a little over my number.

- This was the first time I've performed my audition cut for an actual audition. I think it went pretty well, however, I need to figure out a simpler explanation of what I need from my accompanist.

- My voice was fully warmed up, but in the heat of battle, I need to remember where to place my voice. I think I just need to keep working with my cut. However, the high melisma went really well.

- I think I went on auto-pilot when it came to what I was doing with my arms. I was aware, but I wasn't fully present, and I think I should have kept it a little more simple. I did improve from my mock audition, however, which was nice. I also think that the music being a little slower had an impact on that as well.

- I'm not sure if I said thank you afterwards! I think I did, but I honestly don't remember. When in doubt, I need to say thank you.

- I was affected by the fact that we didn't need to introduce our pieces. Introducing our pieces is engrained in my body and I didn't do it for this audition, but it made me feel a little off-kilter. They said we could, but it wasn't suggested, so I didn't do it. I should've listened to my instincts because it was something I had practiced.

- HOWEVER, on the other hand I think a big thing I learned is that I should always be ready for anything.


Callbacks:
I did receive callbacks! Honestly, I'm not sure what or if anything will come from this, but again, it was a great experience, and I can only hope to hear from some of these places.

The theatre I'm most interested in is Shawnee Summer Theatre of Greene County, in Indiana. They have a great season, and I think it'd be a great experience.

-They had me sing 'Much More' from The Fantasticks because they knew I've already done the role.

-They also knew of Okoboji Summer Theatre and John Watkins, who I did the show with. They knew how OST works, which is very similar to their program which is a great thing, I think.

-I didn't know if I should do blocking with the song, or just sing, so I just stood there and sang, and did some gesture work, but not much. I'm still on the fence on whether or not that was a good idea.

-Then I read for Susanne in Picasso at the Lapin Agile, which is a character pretty similar to Luisa in her naive nature. I had a few minutes to look it over, and then I went into the room and read. They laughed, and I was able to use the producer as my bartender. I made sure to make eye contact and I think I gave a pretty strong read. I made some choices, but I'm not sure if they were big enough.

-They asked me if I had any technical theatre experience and I said that I sew, I love working with props, and especially hanging lights. I should've explained more intensively about OST and the technical theatre I did there, but it was in the heat of the moment and I had word vomit. I hope it didn't seem too 'suck up' esque. I tried to seem genuine and honest. :)

I'm not sure when to expect to hear from them, but I also mentioned that I was interested in their apprentice program, so we'll see. Regardless, both positions are paid and get stage time. I'd be honored to be working there.

Auditions coming up:
-Thoroughly Modern Millie - this coming weekend
- MT of Wichita - March 6th
- Muny Auditions - March 12th

Here we go!

A lot of progress..and my first paycheck!

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've last updated. I'm trying to be better about keeping this updated, but these last couple of weeks have really strangled my time to update this little guy.

So, I first should mention that the midwest suffered a massive blizzard a week and a half ago. We ended up getting 19 inches of snow, along with 3 1/2 days off of school. While this was great for catching up on sleep, movies, and making snowmen, there wasn't really too much to report on the acting side of things.

However, I've been failing to mention that while my acting classes and experiences in school are going well, I've recently seen some success in the REAL world!

I was recently given the role of 'Tabitha' in a film entitled 'Tape 56'. It's a feature length film, with several different directors working on it. It's a horror movie anthology of sorts. The section that I'm cast in is written and directed by a creative duo that I've worked with before. Last year, I was cast (through auditions) as a cameo in their film, 'A Horrible Way To Die', an indie horror thriller movie that found success in several markets across the country. This time around, however, there weren't any 'extras' or 'cameos', so they didn't hold auditions. Rather, they chose to work with actors that they've already worked with and enjoy working with. I just happened to be one of those actors!

I'll post later about the actual filming experience. I filmed yesterday at 9 AM. It was about 8 degrees. And I loved it.

Deadpan.

Deadpan. It's really hard. (look)

No, but really. Today in comedy class, we experimented with  deadpan techniques on comedic monologues that we performed during the previous class period. It seems so easy because it's just making every line delivery simple, spare, and pure. But I think we discovered how difficult it is to deliver a line without any inflection or emotion. It's almost ghostly the way some of us delivered our lines.

 It's also about your focus, specifically your eyes. I think deadpan borrows a lot from the restoration time period with the tactic of an 'aside'. You deliver a line and then take a look to the side, with a completely serious face. The aside has to have some kind of subtext within it for it to be funny. For example, if you say "I am thrilled to be here." (look) (as if to say: Yeah. Right.) You also have to face the battle of being neutral, but also having energy. That was a big battle for most of us today. How do you have energy without giving inflection or emotion in your line delivery and without seeming wistful and ghostly?

I'm definitely interested in learning more about this technique. I can see why this is a graduate level excercise because it's essentially like reversing everything we've had installed in us for the last three years. It's going against everything you've been taught are correct techniques of acting.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for right now. I just had to speak about the new experience I had today.

:)

The Very Last One.

No, not the last blog post. My last semester of college. That's what we're talking about.

I can't believe it's already here. I feel like so much time has passed, and yet, almost no time at all. At the same time.

I've made the decision to move to New York after the summer. I visited over the winter break and it just felt right. I'm very excited. But the prospects of making and saving enough money to move there is just a little daunting. I've got one job at the moment, which gives me about $260 a month. Take that times 5 and you've got $1300. So I've got quite a bit to go before I can say hello to a new home.

I just auditioned this week for the school's production of Jane Austen's "Sense and Sensibility"and it was one of my best auditions. I felt confident and I made choices that I don't think I would've made prior to the monologue class I took last semester. I thought outside of the box and I took risks. I received a callback, but I don't think I made big enough choices in my reading. I did not get cast, but I realized how much progress I've made in my audition techniques since the beginning of the year. Good things.

Upcoming Auditions:
-Midwest Theatre Auditions
-Stages (St. Louis)

Both are for summer, paid positions and both are happening in St. Louis. I'm hoping to come out of Midwest with a few job offers. I'm not participating in the dance portion, but I feel like that is a good choice because I do not consider myself primarily a dancer and from what I've heard, the dance portion is advanced.

Currently I'm trying to finalize my song choice. I've found my monologue and I'm in love with it, so I'm excited to have some fun at these auditions.

Right now, I'm just so ready to absorb and take everything I can from these last few months. I want to continue to let go of my own judgements of myself and go forth in class with confidence. I want to volunteer myself for in class demonstrations and take risks. I want to fail while it's still okay to fail without costing you much. I want to learn as much about myself in school while I can. I'm looking forward to this semester.

Here we go.